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The Abused Virgin

Sex, he said!

Sipping his usual whisky at 2, grinning and

dusting off his cigarette bud

S-E-X ….. those words reverberated inside my system

like an alarm ring wanting me to wake up to the realities of the harsh world

I was untouched by love in this form but was it really love or

the same old lustful touch that transformed me into this storm??

He slowly began to ease out my neck scarf and

seemed to presume I know all about it enough

Behind his back, I saw an image in the dressing mirror

it was me from 97 filled with anxieties, blood, and fear

A sweet gesture of his love - just a kiss on my neck

although it triggered my brain as if some hands from the past were still holding my breasts

I felt such new joy that I never wanted him to stop

and soon I felt stifled as if those fingers again clenched my mouth

His hands slowly undulated around my back to pull me in near to him

only when the past glitches perfectly impaired my visions

I saw my blood on limbs of dirty beings, they rejoiced in my pains, tearing my mental veins

He pinched me near my waist and brought me back from a place

where I was as an object of disgrace, hence free to purchase, undress and oppress

His eyes sparkled, unsure if it was intoxicated or drunk in love

but his touch was soothing, not like a vulture ready to hunt

He started to lean forward near my lips….. my subconscious froze

leaving me with my conscious to decide on the next approach

Chillssss….. raced from my head to toes, filled my body with new levels of highs and lows

The clock struck 3.00, a digit holding nightmares of a horrific past, a cursed childhood, a bright sunny day, a narrow city lane, & a naive frivolous me

Groggily I closed my eyes to fight my fears and bumped on his lips with surprise and tears

3.00 it was when I had lost myself

but this time, kissing him, I felt gradually regaining senses

Unknowingly he tapped onto the pathos of my ugly past

comforted my qualms & fears of sex with his loving cast

and bestowed on an immaculate, profound, and visceral experience to last.

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